What an Ass! Picking a platform

This is the second in a series following the 2020 Democratic Presidential primaries. Catch up here.

Dear readers – So much has happened since we last checked in on the state of the donkey race. 

More Democrats have entered the race! Not the one you were expecting! [And hoo boy…] Every Democrat in the country has been begging for money like a lotto winner’s estranged family.

Ding! “Just five dollars from your zip code could get me into the debates.” Ding! “It’s been five minutes since your last donation, why don’t you love your country?” Ding! “I don’t want to frighten you but 😱😱😱”

And so on and so forth until you’d rather check into rehab than check your inbox. I get the urgency. Any democrats accepting corporate cash will be nominated for the first one-way trip to Mars long before they’re nominated for president. And it’s certainly inspiring to see the enthusiasm in the grass roots. But we have more than nine months until anyone starts voting and I’m starting to wonder if I can carry that baby to term. 

Amid all of the Democratic action, Donald Trump managed to steal the headlines once again. 

That’s right! The Mueller Report! Finally, all is revealed. 

Well, the Barr Report. A little bit is implied

I’m sure his four pages are a fair representation of Mueller’s 300+. No reason not to trust him, except he believes the investigation was an illegal intrusion on nearly unlimited executive power. Seems reliable.

In other news, the Attorney General summarized The Manchurian Candidate: “Foreign government interferes in election. No evidence of American involvement. Campaign cleared of any wrong doing.”

Anyway the message is clear. Total Exoneration! Also, obviously not! Probably not even close! New information seems to come out every day, yet somehow we know less than when we started.

One thing seems clear – whether we get to see the report or not, and whatever it does or does not contain – The GOP will stick by their president. Democrats’ impeachment dreams are more distant than ever. Trump will be on the ballot in 2020.

And you know what? That. Is. Fine.

Best case scenario for Trump coming out of the Mueller Report? He aided and abetted an attack on our electoral system without being competent enough to know what he was doing.

We know so much more than Barr’s summary suggests. Par example:

Trump did not want to be President.

Trump wanted to build a namesake tower in Moscow and give the penthouse to Putin.

Trump asked the Russian government to interfere in our election.

Soon after, the Russian government interfered in our election.

Trump’s advisor was having friendly chats with 2016 hackers and leakers.

Trump’s son, son-in-law, and campaign manager met with Russians hoping for help with the election.

Trump’s campaign manager gave sensitive voter data to the Russians.

Trump’s campaign pressured the GOP to install Russia-friendly planks to the party platform.

Trump’s son-in-law was trying to establish a back-channel negotiation to end sanctions against Russia.

Trump’s son-in-law appears to be repaying family debts to Saudi Arabia.

Trump, his daughter, and his son-in-law continue to communicate via insecure 3rd party communications, while still chanting Lock Her Up and I wish I were exaggerating.

PS: None of these people should be in the White House.

Trump fired the Director of the FBI because of the “Russia thing.”

Trump wanted to fire Mueller to keep him from looking into the “Russia thing.”

Trump divulged sensitive information about an American ally, to Russians, in the Oval Office.

Trump wants to fulfill a Russian dream by disbanding NATO.


Basically, if Trump and his campaign weren’t actually supporting Russia’s efforts to ratf%&k our election, it wasn’t because they didn’t want to. They just weren’t savvy enough to do it.

Let’s take a look at a few of the ideas Democrats have established as the foundations of their campaigns.

Jay Inslee: Climate change is our greatest generational challenge, and our greatest opportunity.

Kamala Harris: Invest in educators. Healthcare for all Americans.

Bernie Sanders: College for all. A living wage. Banking regulation.

Beto O’Rourke: Fair immigration policy. Sensible gun control. Income inequality. Electoral reform.

Elizabeth Warren: Holy Hell, this woman. A new progressive policy proposal every week.

Again… THIS IS NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST. [Obviously, there are so many of them! And most of these policy positions apply to all of the candidates!]

Meanwhile, Republicans seem to be running on economic ruin, environmental disaster, supporting dictators, and destroying healthcare.

I realize that everyone has a favorite in this race. It’s going to hurt like hell when all but one of our heroes fall short of the nomination.

But this is not a hard decision. We stand with the Democrats, or we give up on everything that our country is supposed to stand for.

More on that in the next chapter. Stay tuned, kids.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.